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Pipe Squeeze AL. In a sit on a pole and spin moment in how BP Sux is treating the GUlf,

Posted by BP Sux vp for chicken choking took time off from spraying corexit9500 under Bp Spill

to begin closing valves in a slow and greasy process that could finally choke off the geyser of crude at the bubble of rot and gas behind the pipe.
"It shot a load of 180,000,000 gallons. Time for a shower and a massage of the earth's crust, before blowing off again."


A new, tighter-fitting temporary fix was lowered over the blown-out well Monday night,
to replace the last temporary fix, which was put into placed when the previous temporary fix didn't work.
BP Sux vp of human sores explained,
"we're running out of temps since so many of our natural sources for temps are worried about deportation."

The next phase was to shut the openings in the 75-ton metal stack of pipes and valves according to the proper operating procedure.
"It's a new method that we are trying out, doing expensive things that work instead of doing cheap congressman who don't.

The operation could last anywhere from six to 48 hours.
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BP first aimed for a nooner, but realised it needed more time to rest and get back a steady hand.

BP stressed there were no guarantees, other than it would keep being BP.

"They ought to be interested and concerned, but if they hold their breath, they'll run out of oxygen,"
retired Coast Guard Adm. Thad Allen told The Associated Press.

BP Sux's reply was to note how much more air there was
now that millions of cubic feet of natural gas and
tens of thousands of gallons on corexit9500 had been added to the atmosphere.
"Oxygen has been shown to be the number one source of free radicals.
It has always been part of BP's health care plan for the world that oxygen no longer be free."

Published on Saturday 19th of May 2012 09:45:57 PM More related articles below
  • As Louisiana reported huge tar balls littering a beach, BP PLC technicians labored to nstart sucking oil t5hough a straw---because BP Sux. BP gamers were playing with their joysticks to guide deep-sea robots and thread a mile-long, 6-inch tube with a rubber stopper into the 21-inch pipe gushing oil from the ocean floor
  • Plaquemines Parish officials on Louisiana's coast discovered a major pelican rookery awash in oil on Saturday. A pelican rookery is an essential link in the ecology that makes Americaa's major fishery sustainable. Hundreds of birds nest on the island. The Associated Press has eye-witness te4stimony that birds and their eggs were stained with the slime BP spilled into the Gulf. The birds work to nest in mangroves directly above patches of crude, making it likely that the few birds who do hatch out will be damaged by oil while learning to fly. Most are likely to die of chemical poisoning.
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  • BP SUX, currently the champion polluter, informed the Federal governement today it is working to keep its title by using chemicals that will kill the small fish that feed the top of the food chains.

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